Thinking Yogi

The intersection of two loves: yoga and writing.

“You Can’t Do This Wrong:” How I got over my fear of the Yoga Police and learned to Meditate

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For years, I've had an embarrassing little yoga secret. While I've been a student of yoga since 1996, and a teacher and home practitioner for over 16 years, whenever I'd try to incorporate meditation into my home practice something always got in the way. If you've tried practicing at home, you can guess what sort of important stuff I'm referring to: a dust bunny emergency under the couch that demands sweeping, laundry that must be folded right this instant, a ringing phone that simply can't wait.

More often though, and on a deeper level, what kept me from making time to sit was fear. After years of study it had been drilled into me that there’s a proper order to things on the mat. Since the purpose of the poses, or asanas, is to prepare the body to sit comfortably for meditation, meditation is typically practiced after asana.

But on the mornings when I was lucky enough to wake up at 6am and eke out an hour’s practice before my kids came trouncing onto my mat, my best intentions to carve out those last fifteen minutes for sitting were usually foiled either by an asana practice that overflowed into those allotted meditation minutes, or by my children who think all yoga poses should be partner poses that involve their feet dangling in my face.

About six months ago I was in a fabulous yoga class with the fabulous Dede Fuentes and she knocked my socks off with a simple statement one of her teachers had shared with her. As she guided us into a brief seated meditation at the start of class, she said: “You can’t do this wrong.”

I realized in that moment that I had wasted a lot of time needlessly worrying about the proper yogic order of things. Perhaps I subconsciously feared that the Yoga Police would somehow find out if I did something “wrong” on the mat and scold me. I smiled with eyes closed until Dede cued us to open them, and I knew something had shifted.b2ap3_thumbnail_KM-Meditation.jpg

The very next morning I rolled out my mat, settled into a comfy seat atop two fluffy blankets, and closed my eyes. With my body still a bit stiff from the night’s sleep and my to-do list pressing its way to the front of my mind, I initially chastised myself with negative self-talk that this wasn’t what meditation should look like. But remembering my new mantra, I stepped back from “right” and “wrong” and embraced the idea that any meditation is good meditation. I sat for a few minutes, finished my yoga practice, and went on with my day. And I felt fantastic.

The day after that it was a little easier to sit, and since then my morning practice no longer feels complete without a brief meditation to start. Sometimes I sit for 5 minutes, sometimes 15, but meditation is now neither a chore nor something that causes me to worry about getting hit with a citation from the Yoga Police. It’s not fancy, it’s not overly elaborate, but it works for me.

In my mind, there’s very little room for “wrong” in yoga. What good are principles and traditions if they can't be applied in daily life?

I believe everyone should be empowered to integrate even a brief, simple practice of mindfulness into their day in a way that fits with their personality, schedule, and life. If you're lucky enough to find a tool that helps you to feel happier and healthier on a daily basis, there’s nothing more right than that.

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Kerry is the Founder & Director of Bloom Yoga Studio, voted Best Yoga Studio in the Chicago Reader, Chicago Magazine, and Citysearch. As a practicing yogi, writer, and mother of three, Kerry is all about making the principles and philosophies of yoga real and accessible for day-to-day living. You can find Kerry on Google+.

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