The Thinking Yogi
by Kerry Maiorca

June 2006: If only you would….

Now that you’ve found yoga and have seen its benefits in your daily life, you may feel it’s hard to resist sharing your excitement. Perhaps a co-worker complained to you about back pain and now every time you see her you can’t help but mention that she should check out your favorite yoga teacher. Or maybe you’ve been telling your significant other that he’d feel so much better if he’d just give yoga a try, but he never seems to make it to class no matter how much you pester.

When you’ve found something that makes you feel invigorated and alive, it’s tempting to insist that everyone should do it. But it’s important to remember that each individual has their own likes and dislikes, their own challenges, their own paths to happiness. Though you may want to share what worked for you, it’s important to respect their individuality as well.

Soon after I began yoga, I was so taken with the practice that I began telling friends and family how fabulous yoga was and how much better they’d feel if they’d do it. What I discovered was that all of my talking did very little to catch their interest, and never inspired anyone to go take a class. The people I was sharing this with were happy that I was happy, but they would’ve been even happier if I’d have left them alone!

When you get all wrapped up in the fervor of wanting to share your great discovery, you’re denying your friend or loved one the process of self-discovery required in order to find their own perfect fit. Everyone has an activity that clicks for them – something that makes them feel healthier and happier in daily life – it’s just a matter of finding it. And the discovery is in many ways the best part, because it allows you to get to know yourself better, to find out what is unique about you.

The best way to support others in making healthy lifestyle choices is to model these choices yourself. You are not responsible for their well-being, and pestering is unlikely to do anything other than irritate them. If you’re pursuing health and happiness in your daily life, they will notice. This is the best sort of inspiration because it comes from within the person who is seeking to make a change. Your friends and family will observe the changes you’ve made; they may even ask what you’ve been doing to achieve such a healthy and vibrant state. And then, you might consider casually mentioning that yoga class you’ve been enjoying so much. If it happens that yoga is a good fit for them, all the better. If not, they’ll still feel inspired by the fact that you have found something that clicks and hopefully before long they will too.

When you care about someone, it can be difficult to sit back when you think you have an idea of how they can improve their day-to-day life. However, because you’re only able to impact your own behaviors and thoughts, you must learn to trust that your loved ones will find their own way to happiness. This practice of trust will allow you to let go of worries and refocus your energy on your own life, and will help to enrich your experience of health and happiness.